Begun on December 26th, 2002
Last Added to on July 17th, 2003

I wish to outline, as best I can, the trail I have followed to arrive where I am spiritually. Not to say that I have “arrived” at any destination as of yet, but only to glance backwards and note the way I have come. Perhaps it will be an encouragement to some who read, and it may help others better understand who I am. I pray a few would be benefited by this examination of my past, if only slightly.

First of all, I was raised as a Christian. Or, it may be more accurate to say, I was raised as a churchgoer. My parents both went to church all their lives, had good parents, and grew up in stable homes. So I have not known, firsthand, what it is to be part of a “broken” family. I was saved at the age of 10 and baptized a few weeks later, soon after my 11th birthday. No radical change took place. I wasn’t suddenly an angelic child, nor did I immediately become devoted to learning God’s Word.

In less than two years my life, which had appeared doomed to follow the same course forever, changed more than I could possibly have foreseen. We picked up our Missouri roots and moved to Indiana, then Virginia, then China. But my world was not shaken. I believe now, looking back, that my family was my stronghold.

Beijing, China was a mix of cultures I’d never experienced. Our family, the first Sunday we were there, attended church with our Embassy-assigned sponsors. The “International Song and Lecture Club” (as the Chinese public knew it) was for foreigners only, closely monitored by the Chinese Censoring Bureau. But it was at this “Beijing International Christian Fellowship” (as the foreigners knew it) that I first recall ever being deeply impressed by, almost in awe of, the faith and power and passion of a Christian. Our Sunday school teacher spoke with such conviction and zeal that it was impossible not to love and admire him. His personality was magnetic, and I devoured the small “challenges” he would give us. “Go home this week and find out all you can about Francis of Assisi so we can talk about him next Sunday.” I loved it. The church was over 800 strong, with a youth group of 30 to 60 (depending on the time of year), but it was such a close group that I wanted to be in on the action. Every youth event, every Sunday school class, every play and skit and Bible study… I was there. It felt so good to be around these people. Their love was evident, their hearts seeking God’s will.

At this point I confessed to be a Christian, but did not live as I now believe a Christian should. I was a good kid. I knew right from wrong and tried not to do wrong, generally. But daily Bible reading and prayer were not part of my life. Jesus was not very influential in my everyday existence. My interest in the church was as a social group as well as a place to stimulate my mind. I loved pondering the depths of the mysteries of mankind. (Why are we here? What is the meaning of it all? If God exists, and if He is good, why is there evil in the world?) I had not yet grasped the idea that head-knowledge of the spiritual, to be worth anything, must translate into life-changing action. Thus my head was changed much, while my actions remained unaffected.

We had moved to Beijing because of my dad’s job with the US Department of State. That same reason took us next to another Chinese city, this time in the heart of China, the city of Chengdu. While Beijing had 15,000 Americans disbursed among 13 million Chinese, Chengdu had only around 300 total foreigners living among the 5 million locals. So the sense of community among the non-Chinese was far greater than we had experienced in Beijing. In fact, it was almost like being in a small town (a small town of 5 million… ha!). Thus it was in Chengdu that we first became intimately acquainted with what sort of people missionaries really are. I had always considered missionaries as super-Christians who never made mistakes and never got tired and always knew the answers. How wrong I was. Missionaries are human, too. But they taught me many things. I don’t mean I sat at their feet and listened to them tell me how to live. They didn’t have to say a word. Their lives radiated with God’s love. Yes, they had problems. Yes, they had bills and taxes to pay and children to raise and every other problem anyone else has. Yes, they got discouraged sometimes and even asked themselves if they were making any difference in the world and if they should even be in China at all. But. But they had faith in a God greater than themselves. By His strength they continued to do the work He sent them to do. And so I learned that the power displayed through missionaries is not because they’re super humans, but because they are humans who let God use them.

Two other life-altering events took place in Chengdu that I would like to note. First, I watched the “Answers in Genesis” video series. “Answers in Genesis” insists on a literal translation of the book of Genesis, which I already believed, and that the account given in Genesis is accurate and trustworthy. The speakers in the videos took a stance that was mind-boggling to me at the time. They weren’t timidly defending the Bible, they were boldly counter-attacking every argument thrown at them by the opposition. Furthermore, they were on the offensive as well. They challenged the evolutionists to prove this or that. I had previously considered Christianity a “defensive” religion — not something to be proven, but either that you believed or you didn’t, with not much room for arguing your point. That video series helped me to realize that the Word of God is living and active, that it applies to everything we do and speak and think today.

The second life-altering event, one that didn’t seem life-altering at the time, was a challenge from my mom. She had been reading a book on how to study the Bible. So many Christians don’t pick up their Bibles much because they don’t know where to begin. With all that foreign mumbo jumbo about stuff that doesn’t even exist anymore, how are we supposed to be able to figure it all out? Her challenge, then, was for my sisters and I to read our Bible every morning before breakfast. She gave us an outline of what to read and we did just that. I didn’t spend more than 5 or 10 minutes reading a day at first. It began as a chore — an obligation — but it isn’t anymore. I can’t say exactly when it changed from a dull task to a pleasure. Maybe there wasn’t a specific turning point, but when I look back I can see how different my attitude is now versus what it was then.

Once again we pulled up roots, this time planting in a very unexpected location — an island nation in the middle of the South Pacific.

Although we have lived in Fiji three years as of this writing, I don’t believe I will be able to accurately determine what I learned most from these first three years here till after we leave. So, here is a rough draft of what I might be writing next in this continuing summary of my spiritual life.

+fiji
- R.C. Sproul… the Old Testament has relevance?
- many books, and time to myself to think of where I am
- making my faith my own
- transferring knowledge to action
- youth group: a chance to step up.