A few days ago I was talking with Amrish. Our conversation got rather philosophical. After a bit, we started discussing ways to greet people or open conversations. I said I’d always been bad at starting conversations and prefer to just stay in the background and be quiet much of the time. I was going to say that I’ve always been a cerebral person, more introverted than extroverted. But I couldn’t think of the word “cerebral” and paused after “I’m… ” So Amrish, trying to help, interjected: “Aristotle?” Erm… not exactly what I had in mind. ;-) Har.

But I have always loved ideas. The deeper the better. Challenge me to solve a problem and I’m in my element. Introduce me to a new concept and I’m enthralled. I have an overwhelming tendency to place ideas higher than people. Not that I don’t like people, but I see before me a temptation to fall so in love with humanity and the desire to solve the problems of the world that I lose sight of the individuals. And that isn’t a true love at all. It’s like the guy who’s so concerned about providing for his kids that he works two jobs and only sees his kids on the weekends. He’s lost sight of what provision is. He isn’t there for his kids in the way they need him most. And if I want to tend to the hurts of humanity, I have to realize that it begins not with the big picture, but with lending a hand to people; not to humanity, but to humans.

“In, But Not Of” chapter 27: “Know everyone between your door and your desk.” An important, albeit small, step in the process of developing a concern for the individual humans I encounter can take the form of learning names. And not learning names only, but getting to know people. There are at least 20 guards inside and outside the American Embassy building. They know my name and my story. I don’t know theirs. There are two or three ladies who clean the Embassy building. Same goes for them. Dad and I take taxis home from work, and always from the same taxi stand. This stand employs less than 20 drivers. Same old guards. Same old cleaning ladies. Same old taxi drivers. I know their faces, but not their names. If I don’t even know their names, how can I possibly expect to help meet their needs? Given the present circumstances, can I even expect to learn about those needs in the first place?

Bear with me as I be brutally honest. At this point, I don’t care much about the needs of the aforementioned people. Truly. If I did, I would prove it by getting to know them. But before this sort of change can come, it must be understood to be lacking. Okay. Step one is done. What’s next? Digging up the nerve to ask some names. Then comes the third step. I guess that’s the tough one. I have to make a habit not only of asking more questions, but of asking them because I want to know; because I care. It’s not so simple as “let’s learn some facts.” Maybe learning names is the beginning, but my goal is a transformation of even the entire though process. I have a friend who is always asking questions. He doesn’t talk about himself unless you ask. And when you ask, he gives a brief answer and then turns the topic back to you. Not because he isn’t willing to reveal anything about himself, but because he wants to know about YOU. That’s what I want. I want to make people feel the way that makes me feel. I want people to know they’re special and that someone cares enough to spend some effort getting to know what’s up in their lives. Once I’ve learned to love individuals, maybe then I’ll be able to love humanity properly.

Written at 8:59 pm         ||         Filed under: General, Learnings
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